remember last summer when american eagle had that modelling contest where you submit your picture to get votes and if you get into the top 20 votes your picture is displayed at times square in new york
i submitted this photo of me about to sneeze
i placed 12th and i was on the times square billboard for two weeks
you are having some friends over for dinner. you ask your vampire friend if they want some garlic bread but they just make a weird hissing noise and scoot their chair over. your spirit friend says their food tastes rather plain but when you offer them some salt they just fall silent. your werewolf friend cannot pick up their silverware and resorts to sticking their face in their food. everything is awkward. for everyone. so far this dinner party is not going well at all
"I’m so co…." I spot a dad smiling in the distance. I think for a second. "my name is cold,” I say instead. suddenly the dad explodes and there is no more joking now. I sit on my throne of dead fathers for the rest of time
God: Gabe, stop, I’m working. Gabriel: I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING TOOOOOOO! God: Here’s a box of parts, go nuts. God: -several hours later- Gabe? Where are you, my son? Gabriel: DAD, LOOKIT! God: Dafuq is that? Gabriel: A PLATYPUS!